Wisdom Of The Aging Dog
“Getting old isn’t for sissies.” Paul Newman was quoted as saying not long before he died. He wasn’t the first to say that, of course. I’m saying it too and I won’t be the last. Our golden retriever Annie is getting old. At what point will I eliminate the “getting?” When does a dog cross the bridge between “getting” and “old?” I don’t want to admit it for her any more than I want to admit it for myself.
I’ve already written about my strategy for dealing with Annie’s aging. Beginning last year when Annie was nine, people would observe her white face and slow gait and express sympathy that a dog of “only” nine seemed older. I began giving her age as 12 and, instead of sympathy, people complimented her on what great shape she was in for such an “old” dog. I smiled. Annie seemed to smile.
Yesterday, we noticed that Annie’s face was swollen (can you tell from the picture?). Two days before, her vet gave her antibiotics for a cyst that may require an operation. We think the antibiotics are the cause, but we don’t know for sure. Because it was a Sunday, we couldn’t get her vet on the phone, so we called the emergency clinic and they told us to stop the antibiotics and give her Benadryl.
As I write this in my home office, it’s 4 AM and Annie is asleep in the darkness by the bed. I don’t want to wake her to see if the swelling has gone down. Researching possible causes for the swelling is as scary as the swelling. Maybe more so. Possible causes range from a benign insect sting to cancer. I wish Annie could tell us where it hurts or if it hurts. At least a child would cry and we’d know something was wrong. Is something wrong?
Time will tell. Time will tell. In just the past year, two dear friends have died of cancer, one is in remission from breast cancer, one from bladder cancer and still another friend has just completed a round of stem cell replacement therapy for leukemia. Where does it end? That’s the rub. We know where it ends. Life is terminal.
Seeing Annie makes me think of my own mortality. Is consciousness a curse or a blessing? The answer is obviously, “Yes.” Annie doesn’t seem conscious of anything beyond wanting to be comfortable and even then I’m not so sure. She seems to prefer the hard wood floor to the $50.00 cedar bed with a soft, fleece cover that we just bought her (“Fleas can’t live in cedar” the pet store owner told us).
I know for sure that I’m suffering when I see her cyst and her swelling. Whether she’s suffering or not, I can’t tell. Annie just got up. The swelling on her face is down, but now her ears seem swollen. We all know the Serenity Prayer: God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; And wisdom to know the difference. No one knows for sure the origins of the prayer. Was it found on the door of a Church in the 1600s? Did the theologian Reinhold Neibuhr write it? Alcoholics Anonymous and other twelve-step programs have adopted it as their “mantra.” Whoever wrote it, I am intimate with only one being who seems to live it.
January 7th, 2010 at 12:31 pm
Could Annie be allergic to the cedar? My golden ‘wolfie’ boy is allergic to it, and I had to refill his first bed/pillow because it came with cedar chips.
After replacing the stuffing and washing the cover, his allergy symptoms ceased.
Hope Annie is still doing well.
April 13th, 2010 at 3:04 am
great stuff, cheers man
April 14th, 2010 at 1:10 pm
Interesting article i totally agree with the comments above. Keep writing
April 15th, 2010 at 9:37 am
snappy little title, Hehe
April 17th, 2010 at 1:48 pm
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April 20th, 2010 at 11:30 am
You made some good points here.Keep us posting. What template do you use in your site
April 20th, 2010 at 2:41 pm
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April 24th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
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April 25th, 2010 at 12:58 pm
Perhaps I’m getting too first hand, although it’s really the only way to write that has meaning for me. This morning, my wife read my latest post and cried her eyes out because she experienced with me what I wrote about. We both love Annie so much and fear the emptiness of losing her. I cherish your comment.
April 25th, 2010 at 1:00 pm
Don’t exactly know what you mean. Please say more. Thanks.
April 25th, 2010 at 1:26 pm
Thank you. I appreciate your comments.
April 25th, 2010 at 1:27 pm
Thank you.
April 25th, 2010 at 1:29 pm
I apologize for taking so long to reply. Is “CMS” “Customer Management System?” Not sure exactly what you mean. I simply blog using Word Press Direct. If this doesn’t help, please give me more info so I can respond with more useful information.
April 25th, 2010 at 1:30 pm
I’m always impressed by the people who write titles for magazine and newspaper stories. How do they do it? I simply go with the fact that I do, indeed, wish I were the kind of person my dog apparently thinks I am. Thanks for your comment.
April 25th, 2010 at 1:35 pm
Thanks for your comment and your encouragement to keep writing. I appreciate that comment tremendously.
April 25th, 2010 at 1:39 pm
I apologize for waiting so long to respond. Your comment indicates how deeply you care and I am so grateful for your concern. It’s like having an extended family to assist us in Annie’s care. Thanks so much for the suggestion. As the post I wrote today suggests, Annie’s problems go well beyond cedar beds. Unfortunately. I wish it were that simple and, perhaps, it will be something simple. The seizure was really terrifying. We seem to have eliminated everything except something neurological. We hope to know more when we see her vet in two days. You must be such a loving person.
April 27th, 2010 at 9:08 am
Good work, keep us posting, you are very good writer.
April 27th, 2010 at 7:33 pm
now see, this sort of stuff really doesn’t sound right
April 28th, 2010 at 6:31 pm
Not sure what you mean by “doesn’t sound right.” Thanks for commenting in any case.
April 28th, 2010 at 6:31 pm
Thanks for your very kind and generous comments.
May 3rd, 2010 at 1:08 pm
Hello can I quote some of the material here in this entry if I link back to you?
May 3rd, 2010 at 5:35 pm
Of course. Thanks for checking.
May 10th, 2010 at 10:15 pm
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May 10th, 2010 at 10:20 pm
Thanks so much for your very generous comments.
May 14th, 2010 at 6:08 pm
Thanks so much.
May 15th, 2010 at 6:50 am
Interesting post i totally agree with the comments above. Keep us posting
May 16th, 2010 at 3:45 pm
Cool post! How much stuff did you have to look up in order to write this one? I can tell you put some work in.
May 17th, 2010 at 11:55 am
Thanks for your comment. I write from personal experience so, while it takes a while to write it, I don’t have to do a lot of research.
May 19th, 2010 at 6:10 am
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